Last Friday, we went to see Dr. Fedor for Ian's 3 month halo visit. It's an all day affair! We pack up the kids and the car, head out to Claremont to drop off Flynn with Grandma and Papa, and we're off to LA. We got there early and had lunch together at cafe, then much to his delight, Ian had some time to watch the construction going on at the hospital before we had to head off to his appointment.
As I was watching Ian and Jason look out the window of the hospital, it brought back so many of the feelings I had when Ian's accident happened. I remembered how afraid and lost I felt. How I had stood in almost that very same spot that day talking to my step mom on the phone and sobbing, wondering how I could be strong enough for Ian in all of this. As I stood there on Friday, I looked back at frantic text messages I had sent that day to Jason and my parents. The feelings were all too familiar, tucked away in my mind, and yet still so fresh. Looking back on that day, I can see just how present the Lord was. He was there. He was with me. He was comforting me with his peace as friends and family (and so many people we have never met and I'm sure never will this side of heaven) were on their knees praying for Ian and our little family. To think of the faithfulness of my sweet Jesus in that time (and all the time) is almost overwhelming. Yes...I felt afraid, lost, and even physically sick, but the Lord's peace and comfort was there. It was only through His grace and kindness that I could even look at my Ian, knowing all that was going on - He gave me the strength to be Ian's mommy in the very way that he needed me in that time. To be honest, part of me wanted to run! I didn't want to hear what the doctors and surgeons had to say, didn't want to hear Ian cry even one more tear, didn't want to watch them poke him with needles anymore, and the list goes on and on. But, God gave me the strength to do ALL those things, and I'm so very grateful for that. Knowing I had no strength of my own, He was there and He provided for our every need.
So, we saw Dr. Fedor on Wednesday and everything is looking just as he expects it to look at this point. The bones are beginning to fuse...Praise God! He had to do some tightening of the halo because there was some movement and that was somewhat painful for Ian, but he recovered quickly. We have another appointment next month, and if all goes as planned, the halo will be removed at the end of January. It was such a relief to have Ian in good spirits on our way home. He enjoyed our day with just Mommy and Daddy, and Flynn got a special day with Grandma and Papa!
It's hard to believe that we really are halfway there. Makes me long for cuddles with my boy even more! We can do this!!!
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