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Thankful For This Storm

Monday, February 10, 2014

IAN'S BONES HAVE FUSED, AND THE HALO HAS BEEN REMOVED!  I can't believe that we're finally here.  Last Thursday morning, Dr. Fedor, confident of Ian's healing, removed the halo in a surgery that took all of 15 minutes.  Although I definitely feel relief to know that the bones are fused and that the halo is gone, I don't quite feel like I can breathe yet.  Why?  I don't know.  I've always been a little slow that way...like my emotions don't quite keep pace with what is going on in my life.  It's always been a struggle that I feel few understand.  I tend to take time to "feel" things - if that makes any sense!

A before and after with Ian's awesome neurosurgeon, Dr. Fedor



Over the last few days, I have prayed so often, thanking God for Ian's healing and for sustaining us through this time in the halo.  With every day that passes, I can see more clearly His provision for us through this, and I'm grateful.  My life has had it's fair share of storms and at the end of this one, I truly see myself in a different place.  I actually feel grateful for the pain and suffering we endured over the last several months.  I know, this sounds completely weird to most of you, and I'm not talking about the physical suffering and pain that Ian endured (I would NEVER want that...ever, ever, ever!!!).  But, I am thankful for this very real journey of faith.  The pain and suffering we went through strengthened my faith and drew me ever closer to Jesus.  It made me think of a quote I came across a while back.  In her book Living Sacrifice: Willing to be Whittled as an Arrow, Helen Roseveare said, "He offered me the inestimable privilege of sharing with him in the fellowship of his sufferings.  And it was all privilege."  At the time, I did not understand that quote at all, but today, I do.  So today, I thank Him for the storms, because it is in those storms that I seek Him relentlessly, and He alone is my comfort and my peace. 

Ian has continued to do amazingly well.  He has never once complained about any pain or discomfort...praise God!  He is wearing real shirts (woohoo!) and best of all, we can HUG him!!!  I think the hardest part of the halo time was not being able to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him!  I could barely get my face through the bars for a little kiss.  This has been a real gift for us these last several days.  Ian's love language is definitely touching, and so through all of this, I just wanted to be able to hold him and love on him, and finally on Thursday, I could do just that.  When Ian was coming out of the anesthesia, he was having a hard time, and was crying quite a bit.  Once they brought us in, they told me I could pick him up.  I was able to get him off the bed and into my arms (wires, IV, and all) and hug him.  I immediately burst into tears.  I think the nurses thought I was upset that he was crying, but truly they were tears of joy...being able to hold and hug him close for the first time in six months!!!

I started this post not really knowing where it was going (generally, I feel a very clear direction), and I'm so happy because it truly made me reflect on the thankfulness aspect of this storm.  I hope that somehow this will inspire you to think about a storm in your own life (big or small) and reflect on how you respond.  Do you lean into Jesus?  Do you know He can be trusted?  Are you feeling like you're in it all alone?  So many times, I feel overwhelmed by a situation and I don't know what to do or who to talk to.  I would encourage you to talk to Jesus.  Trust Him.  He is faithful.  You might not know what it looks like or where to start, but He knows that too.  He will show you.  I'm confident of that, and we know that when we truly seek Him, we will find Him.

Ok, and here are a few more pictures, just because :)!

Getting used to his new collar and headband :)

Thumbs-up as we leave the hospital
He fell asleep almost instantly in the car!

Visiting Papa and Grandma - everyone was SO excited!
His usual joyful self :)

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